RedSwoosh. free your links

Yar, I been born a privateer; from the Yeer one nine nine nine I been working fowards me own agenda- which be developin' me own operatin' system capable of handling an abnormally large number of apostrophes in ratio to other punctuation. Yar, it bein' more efficient than' typin' the "g"...
Also, I be makin' a music playin' automaton, like be with a player piano, yar; but be with neither a piano nor player; but be with a computer machine, yar. And it does well ta show you what music you have pirated from the internet with real pictures, yarrr.

Then the fools that run that thar pirate academy I studied at done offered me a damn letter of Marque to be plunderin' the intellectual property of them that be the new united nations of New England. But over thar, I meet a new capum'- name of Scurvy Dave- who made me an offArrrr : ter work fer him, and make a real difference to the architecture of the very fabric of thar inter-nets. I say-ed, "Aye!" ter him, and "fare-thee-well" to scurvy pirate school!

Evar since then, I be workin' me dream, in the land where ships run on two iron rails, rather then the sea, and motor-cars drive along roads that bend around and around on themselves for some reason, apparently. Yar.